Don't Try to Fix Me, I'm not Broken
by manga-ghost
Summary: Bruises fade, Grandfather, but the pain remains the same...So they stopped me going. I guess there's only one other way of getting rid of it all... WARNINGS: Child abuse, mentions of suicide.[discontinued]
1. To suffer in silence

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Hi everyone! Another fic! Well, I started this in my English class… hee hee, naughty me! Anyways, enjoy. And as always, I don't own anything Beyblade related! Please review!

Chapter 1: To Suffer in Silence

'I often wonder why I carry all this guilt

When it's you that helped me put up all these walls I've built

Shadows stir at night through a crack in the door,

The echo of a broken child screaming "please no more"'

__

I'm OK, Christina Aquilera

Kai's POV

The world comes back into focus, blurry and bright. I blink, twice, while my eyes re-adjust to the light. I look around, making sure he's gone, truly gone. There's no sound. It's as silent as a graveyard. So he's left.

Slowly, I roll over and push myself up, wincing as a fiery pain stabs into me. Placing my shaking hand on the wall for support, I manage to stand. The world swims in and out of focus, like a badly tuned radio as a visual.

So he left me there all night again. No wonder I feel so cold. In spite of myself, a small smirk creeps to my face. Cold. I'm always described as cold. Heart of ice, that's me…

Yeah. Well, they don't live like me. They don't know what it's like.

I struggle out of the room, willing myself not to feel the pain. My thoughts are concentrated on getting to the kitchen and then out before he does. Sneak in, sneak out. Like a rat or something.

Collapsing into a chair, my tired eyes notice two things. An empty bottle of vodka on the table, telling me that he's been drinking again. When he does that, I know to stay out of his way more than ever.

And the calendar on the wall reads 14th January.

January the 14th. I'm fourteen today. Not that anyone cares. I feel a hot prickling behind my eyes, and the tears come. The emotions just keep building up too quickly now, it's too hard to keep them all in.

"What are you doing here?" My grandfather's voice cuts into my head. I keep my face turned to the floor, studying the tiling. My bangs, which always stick out everywhere, fall in front of my face. Well, at least they're useful for one thing. They hide the tears I don't want anyone else to see.

"Nothing." I try to keep my voice from shaking, but he scares me so much, that's why I can always run so fast. Run so fast from the blows which always seem to fly my way, no matter what I do to try to please him, it's still never enough…

"Don't give me nothing, boy!" he shouts, and gives me a vicious backhander that knocks me to the floor. I lie there motionless for a moment, then painfully push myself to my knees.

"Sorry sir," I mumble, feeling my cheek burn. I hear him leave the room and, before he can change his mind, I leave, stumbling out into the cold January air.

Fourteen today. Fourteen years of hell. Shivering, I sit down on a bench and hug my knees into my body in an effort to keep warm. _Why me? _I think miserably. I bury my face into my knees, hiding it. Silently crying.

"Kai? Is that you?" A voice next to me, concerned. I don't want it. I want to be left alone, don't want to face the endless assault of questioning that will surely come next.

"I know you're awake. Why don't you answer me?" The voice is in front of me now. I ignore it. Tuning it out.

"Kai - you're covered in bruises. What happened to you?" I feel two hands placed on my shoulders, and inhale sharply as they touch one of my bruises.

"Fell down the stairs," I lie desperately, but inside a voice is screaming the truth; 'My grandfather beat me - again. Help me!'

"You said that last time I asked you," the voice accuses me, and now I know it's Rei. I can feel his gaze like a physical force, piercing my mind.

"Rei. Leave me alone." I try my usual technique of pushing everyone away. But it's not working.

"The Kai I know doesn't fall down the stairs twice in the same week." His grip tightens, and for an instant, Rei's face becomes my grandfather's. Jeering at me.

__

"Worthless piece of filth…" Unconsciously, I find myself saying "Please, not again, don't hurt me anymore…" My eyes are screwed up.

Rei's grip loosens abruptly. "Kai…" he says, shocked.

"Kai. Look at me." Reluctantly, I meet his amber gaze. "I want to help you," he continues gently. "But to do that, I need to know what's going on."

For a moment, I am tempted to tell all, to finally open up. But if I do that, I have nowhere else to go. Truly alone.

"Rei. There's nothing wrong. Really." The lie, told so many times before, slides up my throat. It feels as though I'm signing my own death warrant.

He lets go of my shoulders and looks at me, a small frown on his face. "Oh. Well… if you ever want to talk…you know where to find me." And with one last look, he leaves.

I stare blankly ahead. In my mind's eye I can see four grey walls closing in on me. No way out. Just because I can't bring myself to tell someone.

Fourteen years old. I feel like both my heart and soul are breaking. fourteen years of pain. I'm already dying inside.

It's been fourteen years of _lies_.


	2. Life goes on without me

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Hi everyone! Wow, I got 6 reviews for the first chapter in just two days! I'm officially hyper now! Or maybe not. :-P Anyways, I'm updating. And remember, I own nothing here except maybes the plot! BTW, this is set about three months after V-Force, only Kai has his scarf because I think he looks better with it:-D And people, please review again! Now to answer the reviewers:

Sproxy23: Yes, I've put it up. Yes, Kayleb's chapter was up - for the last two weeks! And glad you like it!

cath-gem-we-luv-anime-woo: Go you! You read the first sentence! Well, see you at school, Catherine! (Only 4 weeks to go!)

spirtfox: I'm glad you like it! I guess it IS scarily real… I wrote it for an English assignment on 'A Nightmare World' and kept it longer than everyone else to type it up. Luckily my teacher understood! And I have a knack for putting myself in other people's shoes… enjoy!

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BeckyKai4Eva: No! No yaoi! And if you read my profile (pokes penname) you'll know why! Rei is just concerned for Kai… I mean, wouldn't you be? And he is the most likely to notice something like this anyway…cos Tyson and the others certainly wouldn't!

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Shizuka-Yuki: Well, I'm updating! Glad you like it!

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HiddenPortrait: Wow! I read your profile and you're from Australia! It's so cool to talk with people from other countries! Anyway, glad you like it! Don't worry, it's SO much more than a one-shot!

Chapter 2: Life Goes on Without Me

'Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken

Hello, I'm the lie,

Living for you so you can hide

Don't cry…'

__

Hello, Evanescence

Kai's POV

I sit in my desk at school, staring out of the window. I should really be listening to the teacher, but I don't care. Everything has just gone downhill since I left the team after the last tournament. Oh, I may have complained about sleeping in the same room as them, but at least I wasn't so afraid of going back there every night.

Not like now.

I can't seem to concentrate on anything now. I'm too scared of what I have to go home to each night. At best, my grandfather just ignores me. At the minute, that suits me just fine. It's better than the alternative. At his worst…well, my injuries speak for themselves.

My mind wanders back to this morning, and I remember what Rei said.

__

'If you ever want to talk…you know where to find me.'

I only wish that I could tell. But I can't. I never will do. Because I've got nowhere else to go.

"Kai Hiwatari, are you even listening to me?" I'm dragged out of my thoughts by the teacher's voice and look at her, startled.

"Welcome back from outer space Kai. I trust re-entry was not too difficult for you?" Inside, I'm seething with anger, but my face reveals nothing. "Here on Earth, we've been doing poetry. If it's not too difficult for you, maybe you could join us in writing some?"

Poetry. I guess that saying 'life goes on' is more true than some would think. Life does go on. It just leaves me struggling on behind it, living a lie. How am I supposed to think about poetry at a time like this?

Everyone's writing. I can hear paper rustling around me, but I can't write anything. My mind's too full of everything. I return to staring out of the window. It's raining outside now, coming down in floods. Rain washes everything clean, it freshens things up. If only it could give me a fresh start and wipe my slate clean.

I place my throbbing head in my hands. I want to scream, to do something to relieve all of my pent-up feelings, but my pride won't let me. My gaze rests on the blank paper in front of me.

__

Hell, I think, _it's something._

I pick up my pen and begin to scrawl away.

Rei's POV

I yawn and stretch as the bell rings for lunch. About time too. I've been finished for the last half hour. I gather my stuff together and start to leave the room, half-listening to Tyson chattering. As I look around the familiar place my gaze rests on Kai.

Kai. I've seen those bruises he's trying so hard to hide from everyone. He's obviously not telling us something. Somehow, it's all linked, but I just wish I knew how! Knowing him, he will never tell us otherwise.

I see a piece of paper drop out of his hand as he walks out. He hasn't noticed.

"Errm Tyson, guys, I'll see you at lunch, I just need to do something…" I tell them. That paper could be important. Or I may just be curious. But anyway, it's his and he'll probably want it back.

I pick it up on my way out . Looking at the paper, I start reading the spidery writing on it. I know I shouldn't, but I'm just curious. It's a poem;

Long ago there wasn't any hurting,

But now it's gone

And I'm all alone,

Covered in scars that no- one can see.

Everybody hurts sometimes,

But I don't want to hurt anymore,

I want out.

I'm so sick of not being heard,

They can't even hear me screaming.

As my spirit is imprisoned in darkness

By fear and pain,

I think that life must hate me,

And I think I hate myself.

I don't know what to think. _It's just a poem, _I tell myself, but I know it's more than that. Kai needs our help.

I pocket the paper and head off to the lunch hall to join the others. I'm going to bring it up with them sometime. Sometime soon.

Kai's POV

It's the final lesson of the day, getting closer to the time when I have to return to that hell-hole. I'm trying not to think about that. Hell, I always try, but it never works. It's like a black cloud, hanging over me. Even sitting here in this classroom. 

Dully, I watch, only half-listening, as the teacher introduces this guest speaker. As she starts to speak, two words reach me and make my blood turn cold.

Child abuse.

__

No, not that. Memories of every beating I ever got from my grandfather rise to the surface of my mind and stay there. I decide not to listen to her and concentrate on blocking out everything, burying my head in my arms.

This works for about half an hour. Then Hilary, who's sitting in front of me, taps my head sharply. I raise it and look at her.

"What do you want?" I hiss. She looks annoyed. Really annoyed.

"Kai, how can you ignore something like this? All over the world, things like this could be happening right now. I mean, just imagine, being afraid to go home at night because someone might hit you for no reason. Not being able to tell anyone. Imagine that." Her every word cuts deep into me, and I bite my lip to stop myself from crying. _I don't need an imagination, _I want to shout, _because I know what it's like. I know what it's like because I go through it every day. I'm living it. You think I don't care? Of course I care! I'm hurt. I'm alone. And no-one wants to know. _But I don't. How can I?

"Fine," I say thickly. "But don't expect me to do any more." Satisfied, she nods and turns around, leaving me to my misery.

Finally, the end of the talk comes. I rouse my self and am preparing to go when the teacher speaks thirteen words that make my day even worse.

"For your homework, I want you to write a report on child abuse."


	3. Silently broken

**Another chapter, mis amigos! This one was quite painful to write, for reasons that will soon become apparent… but hey, I'll get over it someday! Now, to answer the reviewers:**

**Catherine Noble:** Woo! Doctor Who theme tune, yay! Lol! Thanks for your review!

**Betrayed by Darkness: **Thanks! And you reviewed A Little Piece of Paper too! Well, I'm updating! Yeah, I know. Poor Kai… :-C

**BooBoo:** Wow. That was interesting, in fact it reminded me of Max! hee hee, lol. Don't worry, I do not plan on abandoning this fic, it's my most successful yet! I shall attempt to… umm… elaborate! Glad to know I make someone happy! Hopefully this is as good as the last one! Enjoy!

**sproxy23:** Yeah, I know, the homework was VERY evil. You're rubbing off on me, you know… enjoy this chappy!

**blueraven:** Thanks for reviewing! Here's the next instalment!

**Shizuka-Yuki: **Hey! You reviewed twice! Thanks! Yep, I know. Totally evil. It's no fun, being evil… :-C lol! (Bows to applause)

**EagleFox:** WOO! I set a record, yeah! Thanks for the fave, I'm updating!

**AnimeBando33:** I know. Hilary focuses too much on the big scheme, she doesn't see what's going on under her nose… Thanks for reviewing!

**onetime23:** Deep, huh? Wow, thanks:-D I'm updating! Reviews make me high!

**Bruna Aquino:** Aww, thanks! I will keep writing! Glad you like!

Chapter 3: Silently Broken

'He calls the mansion not a house but a tomb.  
He's always choking from the stench and the fume…  
…He doesn't have many friends.  
As they are  
Face down and bloated snap a shot with the lens.'  
_To the End, My Chemical Romance_

Kai's POV

I softly close the door behind me. I have to be careful not to make any sound whatsoever. He mustn't know I'm back. Otherwise it all begins again…

Wearily, I glance at the clock on the wall. Ten-thirty. I hope I've stayed out long enough, but I can never tell when he gives up waiting. Of course, preferably I'd stay away from here all the time, but I have to sleep somewhere.

And I'm not about to force myself on anyone else.

As quietly as I can, I leave the kitchen and creep into the hall. Turning to go up the stairs, I freeze.

At the top of the stairs stands my grandfather.

I feel my heart miss a beat as we stare at each other. A small, cold fear starts gnawing at the bottom of my stomach. He doesn't look pleased. This can't be good.

"Grandson. Where have you been, out so late?" As he speaks, I can hear the cold fury in his voice that he's barely suppressing. What have I done to displease him now? What is he going to do to me?

I want to run away but I can't. Terror keeps me rooted to the spot and I can only watch as he advances slowly towards me.

"Well? Answer me!" I try desperately to think of something, but my mind has gone blank. What difference would it make anyway?

"Nowhere," I say, my mouth dry. "Nowhere important." He's right in front of me now, only a few centimetres away. Only my willpower stops me from cowering.

Quick as a flash, his hand snatches out and seizes my wrist in a vice-like grip, above my head. I want to cry out but I daren't. No emotion. Isn't that what I was always told?

Smack! He slaps my face, hard. Again and again he strikes me, and I can do nothing to defend myself, my wrist still held prisoner in his unrelenting grip.

"Liar!" he snarls, and sinks his fist into my stomach. I gasp in pain and go limp in his grasp, and he throws me aside like a rag doll. I hit the hard floor and lie there for a few blissful moments, glad of even a small respite from the beatings. Even though I know it won't last.

But he has a different way of breaking me. "Look at you," he says mockingly. "You're pathetic! Like a wounded animal. I doubt you feel anything at all." He smirks, and inside, I cringe. "Just how I wanted you. But then again, who would want a thing like you?"

I'm crying inside, silently pleading for acceptance. _I've always tried to meet your standards, it's all I can do. What am I doing wrong? Why do you hate me so? _He might not think I feel, but I do. All too well…

His foot connects with my back, and I'm kicked across the floor, having only the satisfaction of not letting him hear me scream to help me hold on. I roll over. Finally, my legs start working again, and before I know it, I'm racing up the staircase as fast as I can possibly go, gritting my teeth against the pain. I can hear him behind me. I've got to get away, I don't want him to hurt me anymore…

I run along the landing towards my room. Finally, I reach it, slam the door and lock it. Thank goodness it's got a lock.

"You can't run away forever, Kai!" My grandfather's deranged voice floats through the door.

I'm trembling. I lean with my back against the door to stop it, breathing hard. Slowly, I slide down until I'm sitting with my knees up my chin, all my energy gone. How much longer can I go on like this?

My thoughts dwell bitterly on the past day. _Happy birthday, Kai, what did you get? A lecture off both my teacher and Hilary, who has no idea what's going on by the way, and the homework assignment from hell. Oh yes, and my grandfather beat me - yet again._

I stare numbly down at my arms. Covered in bruises, the darker, more recent ones overlapping the old. _The marks you leave on me may fade with time, Grandfather, but the pain that you cause me remains the same. Do you even care?_

Who am I kidding? Of course he doesn't. He would gladly leave me in some dark hole somewhere to die; so why doesn't he?

Tears well up in my eyes. What's the point of anything anymore? The homework's sitting in my bag. I don't care. It can wait. It's just a reminder, like almost everything else, of the nightmare that is my world, of the life that is forever denied to me that so many others take for granted.

Life. What is life? It certainly isn't what I'm in now. What I experience is only a half-life. How can I live life to the full if I'm always being torn down? What is even the point of my miserable existence?

Would people miss me if I disappeared? I don't think so. I'm worthless, a traitor. I don't deserve to live.

And I don't want to go through this pain any more.

I consider it. Is suicide really my only way out? In the blackness of my despair, it feels like it. So how to go about doing it? How do I let myself out of this world?

Cutting? No, too slow, and besides, people think it's a cry for help and I'm long gone beyond that point, I just want to go…

Could I jump off a building? Not that either, there's none around here that are high enough.

As I think about it, I realise that the answer might lie in my own bathroom.

Shakily, I stand and unlock the door, peering out. The hall looks deserted, so I slip out and down the corridor, taking care to make not a single sound. I enter the bathroom and begin my search.

After a few minutes, I find what I'm looking for. A bottle of Paracetamol tablets. I unscrew the lid and count them. Thirty 500mg tablets. This is the only way. I won't even feel anything. I'll just go to sleep, and then I'll never wake up again…

I've got my way out. I just need to find a place to use it.


	4. So long and goodnight

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Here I am, look at me, we can fan fiction together! Ahem, well, here I am with another update, peeps! And about time too, I'd say! Once again, don't own, you good peeps no sue, k? Now, reviewer answer time! And remember, please review!

Betrayed by Darkness: I'm updating! Yeah I know, Kai's life is pretty sucky at the mo… :-C

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sproxy23: Okay…right. The reason it was painful to write…FOR GOD'S SAKE! I MADE HIM SUICIDAL! AND HIS GRANDFATHER… I MEAN, JEEZ!

EagleFox: Hey! I'm updating! And it's nice to know I've finally written a worthwhile story!

PandaPjays: I'm updating! Wow, another life goal I'm closer to reaching! And I have chapter 5 half-written at the mo. Enjoy!

freya kurenai: I'm glad you like it. But… you said Kai's feelings are connected to yours…in what way? Either way, I really hope you get out of it soon…cause you probably mean more to people than you know…stay with me here, ok?

cath-gem-we-luv-anime-woo: Why is your name so hard to type? Guess that means you read the last one this time, huh?

storm-of-insanity: Nice nickname for Kai! Answer should come in the next few chapters…stay with me, ok?

Shizuka-Yuki: Ermm, yep, that pretty much sums up that chapter! Hee hee, lol! Enjoy!

natakuchan01: Hey, aren't you onetime23? Heh heh, you'll just have to wait and see! Cause I have all the answers, yay! I'm so glad you like it!

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AnimeBando33: Yep, I know, Hilary can be as tactless as Tyson sometimes…your damn right it's my story! Ha ha, lol! Enjoy the next instalment! (BTW, this thing has 12 chapters you know…)

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Reka: Hey! Look, I'm updating! Wow, that's 2 people who have worshipped me…I must be getting better at this… Enjoy!

Chapter 4: So Long and Goodnight

'Why should I care?  
Cause you weren't there when I was scared,  
I was so alone,  
Yeah, you need to listen,  
I'm starting to trip, I'm losing my grip,  
And I'm in this thing alone…'  
_Losing Grip, Avril Lavigne_

Kai's POV

Finally, the bell rings for break. Time to go. This may be the only chance I get.

I know where I'm going. The boys' bathroom. Quiet, secluded and usually deserted. The place where I'll finally break free of the chains that bind me here. No one will miss me. No one ever does. It could be hours before someone notices my absence. But by then, I'll be untouchable.

I make my way there, unmarked by the other faceless students. I'm just another face in the crowd. Good. I don't want to be noticed.

Suddenly I hear my name called.

"Hey Kai." I turn to see one of the English exchange students, Helena. What does she want?

"I was just wondering… are you, well, alright?" She looks at me concernedly. Why? We've hardly spoken. "I mean, cause you seem a little down. You look kinda ill. Is everything okay?"

__

No, Helena, everything is wrong. Everything. "I'm fine," I say, lying through my teeth. I look down to see the book in her hand; _Chinese Cinderella; the Secret Story of an Unwanted Daughter._

Unwanted. That's what I am. It's what I always have been.

"Oh. Oh, well…I'll see you in class then." I nod absently and continue on my way. There isn't much time left now.

Finally, I reach the bathroom. No one else in there. I'm alone. Quickly, I take off my bag and find the Paracetamol, along with a bottle of water. I'm ready. It's time.

The thing is, I'm having second thoughts. It's now been two people who've asked me about how things are. The first…well, Rei's my friend, I guess, so he's more likely to notice…but the second. I barely know her. Why is she so worried? What do _I_ mean to _her_? Maybe I'm not as good at hiding as I thought.

The point is, maybe I am worth something to these people. Maybe…

In my mind, I hear Tyson's voice echoing…

__

'Jeez, Kai, stop being such a sourpuss!'…

__

…'That guy annoys me so much! He's such a jerk!'…

…'Yeah, whatever Mr. Grumpy Gills. Lighten up!'…

…'Can't you just let us enjoy ourselves for once?'

No. I obviously don't mean anything to them. I'm not wanted. I'm not needed. Not at all.

My hand shaking, I gulp the tablets down. All thirty of them. Now I can only wait.

__

Too bad, Tyson. Maybe you'll see why…I'm just sorry it had to come to this, everyone.

My vision is going blurry, I feel dizzy. _No more time for doubts now, _I tell myself, and sink into blackness…

Rei's POV

"I haven't seen Kai since break. Where do you think he is?"

"I don't know. But, knowing Kai, he'll turn up eventually."

It's lunchtime, a full twenty-four hours since I promised my self I'd discuss Kai with the others. Seeing as so far I've failed miserably, now seems a good time to bring it up, as they're talking about him.

"Speaking of Kai, I think there's something he isn't telling us."

"So? There's lots of things Kai doesn't tell us," Tyson yawns.

"Yes," I say patiently, "but this is different. Just yesterday, I saw him in the park. It was really early in the morning - it couldn't have been more than seven o'clock - "

"So what were you doing up at that time?"

"That's not the point!" I sigh. "He was sitting on a bench. All hunched up. I could have sworn he was crying. He's obviously real unhappy about something."

"Kai doesn't cry!" Tyson snorts incredulously.

"Just because you haven't seen him Tyson, doesn't mean he doesn't!" Hilary roars, advancing on Tyson whilst myself and Kenny try to retrain her.

"Hilary, please. The point is, he was covered in bruises, everywhere I could see. And he wouldn't tell me how he got them - at least, not any believable reason…"

Everyone has gone quiet. Even Tyson and Hilary.

"What are you trying to say, Rei?" Hilary says, white-faced.

I sigh, unsure how to word my suspicions. "Put it this way. I think something is going on that we don't know about. I think… I think someone's hurting him. Real bad. I think he needs our help."

Hilary gasps. "You don't think -"

The end of her sentence is cut off by the door banging open. I look round to see…what's her name again…Helena running through the door sobbing. She's crying? What's happened?

"Are you Kai Hiwatari's friends?" she says hysterically.

"Yeah, that's us," Tyson says uncertainly.

"What's happened?" Max asks with a worried frown.

Shaking, she breaks down completely. "Oh - (sob) thank God…It's - well, I was with my brother…" she takes a deep breath before continuing, "He went to the bathroom…I waited for him outside it…oh God…next thing I know, he opens the door (sob) and yells at me to lend him my phone and go get help…over his shoulder…oh my God…" she looks up at us all. I feel my blood turn cold. What comes next won't be good. "Kai was lying there (sob) - he's not breathing. We - that is, me and Jack…" She's shaking so much with shock, she has to sit down. "We think he's tried to kill himself!"

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ghostymangarocker: Oooo… evil cliffy! Well, I know I don't usually put an author's note here, but I guess most of you are wondering: why the OC? Well, I needed someone who doesn't know Kai well to find him, and Helena also represents the general public, who may have noticed Kai's… well… depression. (Borrowed the idea from Shakespeare!) The point is, even peeps who don't know you can see if summit's wrong… anyhow, this is NOT the end of the fic! This thing has 12 chapters ya know! Sorry about this rant here. See you when I update!


	5. If I could have said one more thing

**Hello hello hello! Wow, I was just checking the stats of this story, and it's getting more popular! I mean, I had 9 reviews for chapter 1, and chapter 4 had 15 reviews! I mean, how cool! I'm finally getting good at this writing thing! Anyhoo, to answer my reviewers:**

**AnimeBando33:** Yep. Hilary is on one massive guilt trip at the moment. Tyson ain't that stupid - just not very observant! Thanx for being so patient!

**shinjuu:** Don't worry, Helena ain't gonna stick around really… and if you'd read me profile, you'd know there's no pairings in this fic. But enjoy!

**PandaPjays:** Finished it! Yeah, I know that feeling - when a story I really love gets updated, I just wanna jump for joy…I'm usually hyper for the rest of the day! Glad ya like!

**blueraven:** Hey, I'm updating! Wow, someone WOWed me! Lol!

**Shizuka-Yuki:** I agree…to find out if he's alive, read on!

**Betrayed by Darkness:** Yes, the evilness of the cliffy (Evil laugh) Hope this is soon enough for ya! But for a REALLY evil cliffy, check out storm-of-insanity's story…the evilness…it doesn't bear thinking about!

**EagleFox:** I think that's the first review I've got from you where you've used an exclamation mark! Hee hee, lol!

**safaia-kurome:** Yes! Another new reader! Hope this update was soon enough for you!

**storm-of-insanity:** Mwahahahahaha! To find out, read on… BTW, your cliffy was the evilest of the evils!

**Demonchildssister:** Yay! I wrote a chapter that couldn't be described with words! And thanks for reviewing!

**Kinaua:** Hey, you reviewed my other stuff too! Thanks! Yeah, I know. Chinese Cinderella is such a good book. And it's all true. And Kai reminds you of one of your friends? You are helping him/her, aren't you? I really hope so. And good luck!

**HiddenPortrait:** S'okay about not reviewing. It's hard when you're busy! Glad you like. Chinese Cinderella is such an amazing life story. Expect it to turn up again later. And, I'm from England, mate! The north to be exact!

**natakuchan01:** Hey, happens to all of us sometimes… lol!

**sproxy23:** Yay! You read my new look profile! Heh heh, don't go telling anyone! And ta for the compliment.

**lolly pop 3:** Phew, last one! Hey, you're English too! Great! Thankyou for the compliment, I find that if you write in 1st person for these subjects, it's easier to describe… Enjoy this next one!

**Phew. Now, on with the story!**

Chapter 5: If I could have said One More Thing…

'…And they found you on the bathroom floor…  
…Back home, off the run  
Singing songs that make you slit your wrists'  
_**Cemetery Drive, My Chemical Romance**_

Rei's POV

Gods. I'm in shock. My mind feels so numb. Kai…How…Why…If…

I'm sitting in the hospital with Hilary and the rest of the team. We're all quiet and ashen-faced. Even Tyson and Max are subdued. You could cut the atmosphere in here with a knife, it's so tense. All our eyes are on one person.

Kai.

He's lying, unconscious, in a hospital bed. It's something I never thought I'd see, always hoped I'd never see. And certainly not under these circumstances.

He looks so vulnerable, lying there. Something else I never thought I'd see. The whole room is dampened, darkened, by the thought that Kai could have died, moreover, that he actually tried to kill himself.

And the worst thing is, I could have done something about it. I saw those bruises, saw how unhappy he was. I had my suspicions. Why didn't I voice them sooner?

I look across the room at Hilary. She's crying; I can see the tears on her face. What on Earth is she thinking?

Hilary's POV

Oh my God. Why would Kai do something like this? It doesn't seem like him, not at all. Of all the people…

I steal a glance at his face. He looks almost peaceful now, more than he ever did when we were all sleeping at Tyson's family dojo. When we were a team, really.

Oh, his face. The doctors must have cleaned that face paint that he always uses off. He looks so much younger without it. Or, at least he would, but… those bruises… They look so ugly and dark against his pale skin. No wonder he always used that paint.

I feel so guilty. That's all I can feel, pure, unadulterated guilt. I considered myself to be an expert on psychology and sociology and everything like that; how could I have failed to notice this? Kai Hiwatari was being…oh God, I can hardly bring myself even to think it…he was being abused. And I didn't notice anything. I was even so tactless as to give him a darn lecture on it, and it was probably exactly how he felt. No wonder he was always so distant.

They've hooked him up to a heart monitor. _Beep…beep…beep… _it's driving me insane, thinking that the steady blips might stop and he might die. I will him with all my heart and soul and mind to keep breathing. He's got to wake up. He must. I need to apologise.

And as for Tyson…he looks as bad as I feel. I watch as he gets up and starts pacing the room. I remember, he used to call Kai all sorts of things, probably without even realising…what does that mean for him now?

Tyson's POV

God, Kai. How long have we been sitting here? Must have been hours. Since the doctors let us in to see you anyways. God, listen to me think. I'm talking in my head to an unconscious dude. I'm going mad.

I can't stop thinking about all those times I ever had a go at you for being a loner, for refusing to come off the sidelines and join in, for…well, pretty much being what I'd call a sourpuss. And all the time this was going on, wasn't it? For God's sake. Why didn't you tell us?

Who would have been able to do this any way? Drive you so far into misery that you'd want to - well, kill yourself?

Stupid question really. Doesn't take a genius to figure out it was your grandfather. No one else would ever have been able to get close enough to the great Kai Hiwatari. To think that he beat you…

Ugh, the very thought of that man makes my blood boil! And he was probably the one who put you into that creepy Abbey too…

Well, here and now, I Tyson Granger, swear two things. One, that I'll apologise as soon as you wake up for every time I ever called you a sourpuss.

And two, I want answers. I want to know everything, and I don't think that I'm the only one. Got it, Kai? You've been hiding long enough now.

Wonder what Max thinks about all this? He's so quiet and sad, not like himself at all…

Max's POV

Kai. Kai, Kai, Kai. Why did he do it? I never…I never thought that any of my friends, would do something like this. Least of all him. It just doesn't seem like him. I want to cry but I feel so…numb. Like everything inside has just dried up. It's funny, usually in a bad situation I'm the one cheering everyone else up. Even when Rei was in his coma at the first World Championships. But nothing like this has ever happened before.

Why was he so unhappy? Why didn't he tell us how he was feeling? Did he think that we wouldn't believe him? That we'd hate him for…whatever it was?

He's always behaved so strong and emotionless, even slightly arrogant at times. I don't think any of us could have ever imagined this happening. It's like a nightmare. I keep hoping I'll wake up and it'll all be a dream.

I hate hospitals. Maybe it's the disinfectant smell and lack of any colour inside them. It's so depressing. We may as well be sitting at Kai's deathbed…

No. stop thinking that way, Max. Kai'll be fine. We aren't gonna ignore his hidden cries anymore. We're finally gonna get him to open up. All of us. Even the Chief…

Kenny's POV

I keep glancing nervously over my laptop at Kai's face. It just looks so - so - _wrong, _seeing Kai in a hospital bed. I don't even have the heart to talk to Dizzi.

After Helena had her emotional breakdown, we stared at her for a minute, unable to take in what she had just told us. Then, we all rushed out as one to the bathroom. Well, by the time we got there her brother had called the emergency services, they had arrived, the paramedics were there with Kai on a stretcher and… well, let's say he didn't look too good… Okay Kenny, breathe deeply, don't be sick, don't panic…

Helena and her brother went home afterwards, I wouldn't be surprised if they needed counselling or something, after their shock… but I digress. We crowded in the tiny waiting room at the hospital (we got Tyson's grandpa to take us) for hours, all of us holding our breaths, all of us wondering the same thing; why?

And then the doctors finally let us in to see him. I was so worried, I didn't even ask about his condition. And now we're all just sitting here, waiting.

I never really paid much attention to him, if I remember rightly, his was the only blade I didn't upgrade. I guess I was even slightly scared of him, and he didn't take much notice of me either, which was fine by me…but for this to happen…why didn't we notice sooner? How could we have been so blind?

If Kai, the strongest of us all, could do this, what hope is there for the rest of us?

Kai…

(Right, I know I don't normally do this, but this next bit is in a General POV)

In the small hospital room, the only sound that can be heard is the steady blips of a heart monitor and the occasional shuffle or snuffle from its occupants. All lost in their own thoughts.

But their thoughts must hold some common thread. As one, the five conscious teens in the room all think:

**Please wake up. I'm so sorry. **


	6. Stripped

Well, I'm finally updating. Before I continue, I'd like to dedicate this chapter in memory of my late school mate Joe. Last Tuesday he got ill and died, so that's why this is late… it just didn't seem right to write it… My thoughts are with Joe's close friends and family now. May the angels help them.

Also, this could be my last update until September. This isn't because I'm abandoning fan fiction, it's because my parents have declared the school holiday (which starts on Friday and finishes on the 7th of September, BTW) computer free, which means I can't update. Sorry guys. :-C

On a happier note, who's read the new HP book yet? (Raises hand) It's AWESOME!

Now, to answer the reviewers:

lolly pop 3: Thanks! Yeah, I found Tyson's POV the most fun to write, just because of his general attitude at times like this! Sorry but you might have to wait a while before the next update…

Betrayed by Darkness: Why would I kill off Kai? I mean, WHAT would Beyblade be without him? Jeez…

storm-of-insanity: There there… (hands tissues) Yes, you are very evil. The devil is signing his resignation as I type this. Lol!

AnimeBando33: Well, try listening to a feel-good song to cheer yourself up! Oh - I better warn you - SERIOUS angst coming up in this chapter, mate! Thanx for reviewing.

PandaPjays: Oooh, a new compliment (Brilliant)! I feel much better! Here's the next instalment!

Kinaua: I hope so too. Maybe you could find her in the phone book? BTW, I went and listened to that song after I got your review, it was cool. Very sweet thing to say about Kai! Just so you know, I'm a sucker for angst with happy endings! Hmm… if you ever want to share any of these issues, I'm right here on fan fiction…

blueraven: lol! And thanks!

undetermined: Um, I'm not actually that evil compared with some other people on this site (Try storm-of-insanity and Blazin Shadow for size!) No comment about my imagination, but thanks!

HiddenPortrait: Hmm? I didn't think it was creepy, just rather sweet! Yep, I'm English! Glad you think that's cool!

Shizuka-Yuki: Heh heh, lol! The question ofquestions is what you have asked! Well…just read on!

sproxy23: Yea I thought it was cute too! Well, you know, stranger things have happened… (Evil laugh) You're damn right! I have a bit more angst left for Kai before this story is done!

CyborgRockStar: Wow, thank you! It's reviews like this that make my day! And someone with you talent thought my lowly fic was well-written. That's awesome that is.

safaia-kurome: Cool, thanks! Glad you think it's brilliant! Hope you enjoyed your vacation!

EagleFox: Umm… yeah I was a bit sugar high when I wrote that… probably an after-effect from Max's POV, but whatever…Hope this is also good work!

starfiredevil: Thanks! Hope you're still with me!

Chapter 6: Stripped

'I can't believe what you did to me  
Down on my knees and I need to break free  
All these years you violated me  
I don't know why I can't feel inside  
I try to hide, can't make it alright  
It's overkill, now I'm ready to fight'  
_Make Over, Christina Aguilera_

Rei's POV

Drowsily, I open my eyes. I'm the first one awake, I see; the others are still sleeping in various places around the room, Tyson, of course, snoring loudly. I glance over at Kai's bed. Still unconscious…

I wish he would wake up! I think we're all agreed that we're going to get him to open up if… _when _he wakes up. I'm not gonna make the same mistake again…

Speaking of which, something sounds different. I frown, trying to work out what it is. Suddenly, it comes to me. The heart monitor's changed! I think he's waking up!

Quickly, I rush around, waking the others up. Tyson of course, refuses to wake up even if I shake him really hard.

"Tyson breakfast is ready!" I half-shout into his ear. _That _gets him up. Hurriedly I fill everyone in on the situation.

"Guys, I think Kai's waking up!" We all crowd around the bed, just waiting…

Kai's POV

Where am I? What happened? Ugh. My head feels like someone's tried to drill a hole right through it and I feel awful. My eyelids feel so heavy. If I keep them closed, the world beyond them can be whatever I want it to be…

"Hope he wakes up soon."

What? Was that Max's voice? It can't be! Inwardly, I scream in frustration because I know what must have happened. They should have just left me there, it would have been better! Now, I'll have to go back. Because it won't be long before my grandfather notices that he's lost his favourite punch bag.

Oh well. Might as well get it over with sooner rather than later…

I ease my eyes open and stare at the faces above me.

"Kai! You're awake! I'msorryIcalledyouasourpussitwasstupidandshallowandI'llneverdoitagain!" I find myself enclosed in a bear hug that practically suffocates me, which isn't doing much to improve my mood. _Leave me alone you blob, _I think irritably, but it isn't what I say.

"Tyson…oxygen…" I croak, and feel his grip loosen. Talking definitely wasn't a good idea. I lie there and listen to the voices floating around me.

"We thought you'd never wake up!"

"Can we get you anything?"

"Oh Kai, I'm so sorry…"

Leave me alone! I scream silently. _Go away, why didn't you just leave me to die? Why am I still here, with all this pain? I can't take it anymore. I can't. Can't you see that?_

I scream silently. 

I decide I might as well try sitting up, if only to tell them to leave me. Big mistake. My head swims and my vision goes blurry for a few minutes. When everything comes back into focus, I see everyone crowded anxiously around the bed.

"I've got some water if you want it." Max holds out a glass to me. I accept the water but don't say anything. It's not just concern in everyone's eyes. There's determination too. About what?

"Kai…" Max starts. "Why…Why did you do it?"

I mentally groan. Great. More questions. I let my scowl do the talking for me. My head's still throbbing too much to say anything intelligent.

"But really, seriously Kai. What's been going on?" Tyson asks, frowning. _Go away, leave me alone…_

"Tyson, leave him alone! He's just woken up for God's sake!"

"Yeah, but if he keeps on being so distant and doesn't tell us anything, then the hurt and the poison'll just keep on going deeper," he retorts, being remarkably mature - for him. "So," he turns from Hilary to me, "tell us."

I'm in the same position I've been in thousands of times before. The feeling that you're about to be sick and that your stomach's tying itself in knots. Wanting to get away from everything and cry in some corner somewhere. The fear of being found out that you've told and getting hurt again…

I don't want this. I look away and mutter, "I can't."

"_Kai. _We're your friends. You can trust us. And, though you may not think it, we do care about you. So if you're hurting so bad that you want to end it all, we want to know. How can we help if we know nothing?"

Rei's words make think, silent for a few moments as my fear of my grandfather wrestles with my yearning to tell someone and finally release all my pain. I can't help it. I want to break down and cry, but I just feel empty. I'm too exhausted and drained, both physically and emotionally, to bother lying any more. I want it all to end.

"O…okay," I say resignedly. See? Empty. I've become a void. Every shred of defiance I ever had has been stripped away from me. I'm broken, there's no fight left in me, I'm exactly how _they _wanted me, but I don't care. Empty.

I take a breath before continuing. Because it's still difficult. "I guess…I guess I should start at the beginning. Most of you know by now that I'm half Russian, in fact I was born there, to Alexa and Hayward Hiwatari. And for the first three or so years of my life, I was happy, I guess." My voice sounds hollow in my own ears. I feel so detached, separate from the rest of the world, like it's not me speaking. _Take a step back Kai. Step away from them all._

"But…that all changed when I was three. I know I was only small, but I can still remember that day…" Even though I'm still talking, I can't hear myself. I can no longer see my friends. I'm lost in the memory of what happened that day, seeing it like it's happening right in front of me…

-----------------------------------------

I run down the stairs laughing into my mother's arms.

"Hello lovely boy," she laughs back at me, her amethyst eyes twinkling with joy as she whirls me around.

"Mama, when is Papa back?" I say impatiently.

"Soon Kai! Very soon!" she smiles at me. She kisses my forehead before setting me down, and even though I'm only three, I know I've never felt so loved.

The door opens and my father walks in.

"Hello!" he beams, pulling both me and my mother into a hug. "I've missed you both so much."

"Welcome home," my mother says softly, kissing him.

"And how's my precious little treasure?" he laughs, ruffling my hair, so like his. I smile up at him and he laughs again. We're all together, happy.

And there's a knock at the door.

I feel my mother stiffen as both she and my father stare at the door.

"No…It's too soon," she whispers, pulling me close to her.

"Open the door!" comes an irate shout from outside.

My father turns to mother urgently. "Take Kai and hide somewhere. And whatever you hear, don't come out." My mother nods and carries me hurriedly into living room.

"Mama what's happening?" I say, worried. She turns to me as she pulls open a cupboard door.

"Listen carefully Kai," she says quickly and softly, "I need you to be as quiet as mice, okay? Promise me you will."

"I promise," I say uncertainly.

"Good boy," she whispers, lifting me in and climbing in after. She shuts the door and wraps her arms around me, and we sit in the darkness. I'm scared. Whatever is happening, it's not good.

"…Come now, Hayward you fool. Tell me where the boy is, and I may yet forgive you for betraying us."

"I don't know where my son is," I hear my father say forcefully. "And even if I did I wouldn't tell you."

Suddenly:

Shouts. Thuds. The sound of a struggle. Yells. A loud bang. Then, silence.

My mother gasps and when I look up at her, tears are on her face. "Hayward…" she whispers, and hugs me tighter, as if she's terrified of losing me.

"Search the house! Every nook and cranny, I don't care what you have to do, I want him found!"

My mother trembles. "Kai, get behind me, okay," she breathes. I do so, and we wait in silence, both of us trying not to make a sound.

Suddenly the door is flung open. I peer round my mother's body to see a man with purple hair and goggles.

I don't know it yet, but it's Boris Balkov.

"Good evening, Alexa," he says smoothly. "I think you know what we've come for."

She stares back at them with fire in her eyes. "I'll never let you touch him."

"Now now, my dear, don't make it hard for yourself…unless you want to go the same way as your husband."

She trembles but doesn't let up. "The day I give my son into your insane clutches is the day pigs sprout wings and fly," she spits the words out vehemently. There is a loud slapping sound.

"Move."

"No."

"Move!"

"Never!"

Bang.

I watch in horror as my mother crumples to the ground and jump down, frantically shaking her lifeless form. She's still breathing. Just.

"Mama? Mama are you alright?"

"K…Kai…" she gasps. "Promise me… that…you will…never let them…b…b…break you. Promise me…" And then she goes horribly, horribly still.

"Mama? Mama wake up. Please Mama!" Tears are rolling down my cheeks as I'm forcefully dragged to my feet.

"Your mother's gone, boy. Your father too. So leave them."

Leave them? Why would I do that?

When I say nothing, he shrugs and then smiles down at me nastily. "You're coming with us."

--------------------------------------------------

I break off from speaking for a moment and look away. I can feel tears rolling freely down my cheeks and I know that everyone is staring at me. I don't care. Let them stare if they want. Because at the moment, I couldn't care less.

"Oh… Kai, we never knew…" Hilary breathes, like she's scared to break the silence. I try to look back at her, but I can hardly see anyway through the tears.

"No. No you didn't." I manage to say. "Well, as you can imagine, my life went downhill after… after that. Boris took me to that Abbey, and, well, it was certainly a different life than the one I'd been living before. We could never go outside, it was always cold, very cold…" I shiver as I remember the days I spent trapped in the confines of that awful place. "Even though it wasn't exactly a proper home, you made good friends there… but I still missed my mum and dad." I choke on those words as I say them. "As a rule, we weren't really seriously beaten unless we'd done something against one of their rules. Yeah, most people would get an occasional slap or something, but nothing too serious…" I smile slightly, but there's no heart in it. "Unfortunately for me, I was one of the ones who disagreed with all of those rules on a regular basis and well… let's say it wasn't really that easy for me… I was almost glad when I was eleven and the whole Black Dranzer fiasco got me out of that place -"

"What happened?" Tyson asks.

Usually I'd refuse to answer, but I haven't got the mental energy. "I ended up blowing half the Abbey up and luckily no-one was hurt, but then my grandfather took me to Japan and -" I shrug "It wasn't really any easier. No matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried, it never seemed to be enough to please him…" I'm having to fight hard to hold back the sobs now, pushing against my throat to be let out. It isn't helping my headache.

I take another breath. "He… he beat me all the time. I guess you could say I forgot how to love. It…became necessary to hide how I really felt to protect myself." I force myself to look at them all. "After I met you guys… well, I know I never really showed it, but it was the best thing that happened to me." I see Rei give me a pitying look and feel somehow ashamed.

"Well…you know that my grandfather disappeared after that first tournament, but he just recently showed up again out of nowhere. And well…let's say that he didn't take too kindly to you being my friends." I can't bear to look at them any more and drop my gaze. "Or maybe old habits die hard, but…" I trail off. "I guess that's when I finally started to break." There's deadly silence for a moment.

"Oh Kai…" Hilary manages to say, her eyes swimming with tears.

"No wonder you seemed so uneasy," Rei says softly, almost to himself.

"What?"

He looks up, obviously unaware that I heard him. "Oh! About a month ago… at least, I think it was… Kai?"

I can hardly breathe. I don't speak but my memory is replaying that day for me in vivid detail. _That time? Oh no no no…_

------------------------------------------------------

"It would mean so much to us if you came. I know it's not really your thing but…"

"I'll see what I can do." I glance uneasily at the house. If he catches me with any of my friends -

Oh no. He's there, watching me at the window with a face like thunder. No hope of being ignored now.

"I have to go," I say as normally as I can. The longer I spend out here now, the worse I'm making it for myself.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. But - I really - have to go_, Rei." I put as much emphasis into the words as possible. _

"Oh. Well, okay…bye then." I turn to go up the path and into the hall, knowing full well what I'm in for. Sure enough, he's waiting for me.

"What have I told you? Those friends of yours have made you weak," he says contemptuously.

I try to edge my way around the hall and up the stairs, but so far, it hasn't worked. "I wasn't talking to him."

"If you weren't talking then what were you doing?" When I don't answer, he hits me with such force I fall to the floor.

"Exactly," he says, half disgusted, half satisfied. "Now, have you got anything to be busy with?"

"Homework," I mumble, unsure whether I'm going to be spared or not. Apparently I am, because he allows me to push myself to my feet and walk up the stairs to my room. Once there, I sit down heavily in a chair and kick my bag under my bed. Stuff the homework, for now at least.

I look out the window at the rest of the world. People talking. Children laughing. When was the last time I laughed, or even smiled? Months ago. Years even. It feels like a million years and more.

I can't help it. My thoughts just seem to lead me to tears. It's happening more and more now, and I can't seem to stop it like I used to. Which is bad because -

"What's this? Crying?"

As if echoing my thoughts, my grandfather's voice slices into my mind behind me, in the doorway. I whirl around to face him. No! I forgot to lock my door! I back away as quickly as I can, tripping over the chair but still keeping my face turned to the floor. "No, I wasn't, I swear!" I know what can - no what will, because I know it will - happen if he catches me, and I wish I didn't know.

"Look at me." I keep my head down. He can't see, I won't let him.

"I SAID, LOOK AT ME!"

He strides over, grabs a handful of my hair and yanks my head up so he can see my face. I know that he can see my eyes, red from the tears, and the fear etched in them; I know what he's going to do to me...

go

"Weak," he hisses, and starts to hit me. It's indiscriminate - he doesn't care where his fists land as long as they cause me pain. All I can do is close my eyes and bear it as best as I can. Screaming will just make it worse.

He pushes me backwards so I hit the wall and all the air is knocked out of me in one gasp. That really _hurt. _

"Crying is a sign of weakness!" he snarls, and starts pummelling me again. I curl up into a ball to give him a smaller target, but if anything it just seems to hurt more as the blows land on my already bruised body.

"I - will - not - have - a - weak - grandson," with each word he deals me another blow, it hurts too much, when will it be over, I just want it to stop, stop, stop…

All thoughts of bearing the pain have slipped out of my head. All I can do is wait for it to be over and scream as each new blow sends me further into pain. It's broad daylight, the middle of the afternoon. Can't anyone hear me screaming? Or don't they care?

I feel something wet trickling down my arms. Am I really bleeding? All I know is that this is the worst he's ever beaten me. His hands reach for me again, and I surrender to them as I slide into pain-filled oblivion…

really 

I wake up, cold and in pain, on the floor. I wait for a while to get my bearings, then being careful not to do myself any more damage, slowly get up. Nothing feels_ broken, but… I look hazily at the clock. Half eleven! I've been out for hours… _

The throb of my head brings me back to more pressing matters. It feels as though someone's tried to squeeze it into a matchbox or something. When I put my hand to my head, I feel something wet and semi-congealed. Better go see how much damage there is then…

Shakily, still reeling like a drunk, I head for the bathroom, praying to all the gods I know don't exist that I won't run into him on the way. Luckily I reach the bathroom without much incident.

One glance in the mirror tells me it's back to the old falling down the stairs story. Half my hair is bloody and matted, and there's the beginnings of bruising showing pretty much everywhere. I sigh. Better clean myself up, then I'll have to check my head more carefully.

One thing that I know as I head for the shower is, that that's the last time I forget to lock my door.

feels 

-----------------------------------------------------

"Kai? Kai, are you alright?" Max's voice drags me back to the present, and not a moment too soon. "You just zoned out on us for a minute there."

"I'm fine."

"Except," Rei says with a serious face, "You obviously aren't. You obviously haven't been alright for a long time. How could you have kept all of that inside?"

I shake my head tiredly. "I don't know, Rei. I just don't know."

"What I don't get," Tyson says almost thoughtfully, "Is how this all links up with - well, you know…" Not being so mature any more then. I'm just about ready to explode.

"You don't get it? I couldn't take it any more!" All that was left of my self control has finally evaporated. I can hear my voice shaking and breaking. "Almost every night - coming back and knowing that you were facing hell from someone who's apparently the only family you have left, or that you'd just be ignored - knowing that no one really cares about you - I couldn't bear it any more, I just couldn't! I couldn't…" Not only my voice, but my whole body is shaking with sobs. Through the watery film of my tears, I see Tyson look away as if embarrassed. Well big deal, he doesn't know what it's like, he can't know how much I was secretly terrified…

"He's still my legal guardian," I barely whisper to no one in particular. "So now I'll have to go back."

Rei stiffens. He must have heard it. Well, he is a Neko-jin.

"Are you kidding? After what we've heard here, there's no way in a million years we're going to let that happen," he says fiercely.

"I'll second that," Hilary adds, her eyes angry slits through her own tears.

"Totally," Max says, getting a nod from Tyson and a gulp that may or may not mean _yes_ from Kenny.

I look at them, tears still brimming over, both touched and gob smacked. Personally, I agree with Kenny. They're prepared to go head to head with my grandfather?

They have absolutely no notion of what they're up against.

General POV (Again)

The Chief Executive looks up at the junior nurse and her older colleague with a deep frown etched on his face. "Are you sure what you are saying has enough evidence to support it, Miss Hadley?"

The young nurse stands her ground with fierce determination. "Sir, with all due respect, there is no other way to explain it. This sort of bruising just does not happen in an accident. It was obviously done with harmful intent."

The C.E turns to the doctor with her, exasperated. "And you, Doctor Mallory? Do you agree?"

The doctor nods his assent. "Persephone asked me to give a second opinion once she spotted it, and I have to say, I think that Mr. Hiwatari's very life may be in danger if we send him home."

"He's awake then, is he?" the C.E answers grumpily. He is not having a good day.

"Certainly, but that is not the point. Sir, it would be a _criminal offence _-" he puts large emphasis on the words "- if we did not investigate this matter."

The C.E's frown deepens considerably. Child abuse is a serious thing to accuse someone of, but he trusts the people he works with absolutely. Two concurring opinions are even more reason to trust them. He sighs. Only one thing to do.

"Who does he live with and what are their contact details?" he snaps, picking up the phone. "Well, hurry up then!"

"Um… a Mr. Voltaire Hiwatari. His grandfather, I believe. Here are the details…" the doctor knows better than to argue when the C.E is onto something, but Persephone Hadley is new, and curious.

"Errm… Sir?" she enquires nervously as the C.E snatches the paper and dials a number, "What are you going to do?"

He looks up. "I'm going to call my opposite number in the police department, and tell him to pay a little call on Voltaire Hiwatari. I'll need you two -" he nods at both of them "- as witnesses. Oh, hold on a moment… Yes, hello? Yes it's me. We have something you might want to look into…"

One thing's for certain, he thinks, _if my staff are right - and I bet my job and everything with it that they are - then the next place he sees will be a grey prison cell._

, he thinks, 


	7. Ready and Waiting

****

Salutations! Yep, I know that I said September but my parents seem to have forgotten the whole computer ban thingummyjig… not that I'm gonna remind them! This is the chapter you've all been waiting for when we finally see what will decide the fate for poor little Kai-kun! Parts of this chapter may seem weak and that's because I had a small case of writers' block. Hopefully it will be gone soon!

Due to the new ban on answering the reviews, I can't do that. Stupid new rule. But if you want me to e-mail you your answer, just tell me in your review, k? And I can still answer any questions you might have about the story here, I think. So I'd like to thank:

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sproxy23, Kuro1107, storm-of-insanity, Crazymainey, EagleFox, CyborgRockStar, Betrayed by Darkness, Shizuka-Yuki, safaia-kurome, AnimeBando33, PandaPjays, Yumi-Ulrich4eva, Wolfchilde, lolly pop 3, blueraven, Kinaua, personne du monde, and lil'angelgrl. Your constant support and funny reviews are what keep me from getting writers' block!

Chapter 7: Ready and Waiting

'Well now I'm back in the middle of the day that starts it all.  
I can't begin to let you know just what I'm feeling.  
And now these red ones help me fly,  
And the blue ones make me fall.  
And I think I'll blow my brains against the ceiling.'

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Headfirst for Halos, My Chemical Romance

General POV (This is getting to be a habit… lols)

It's a dark night, and cold too. Which is to be expected, as it's January. But no cold can match the coldness of one particular man's heart. He stands at his window, scowling out at the world with a face like a hurricane.

His name is Voltaire Hiwatari.

He's angry, very much so. This is the second night in a row that his grandson has not returned to the house, and he can only think of two possibilities; that Kai has either run away or taken shelter at one of his _friends_.

Surprisingly, the latter annoys him more. He doesn't care much about his grandson, indeed he treats the child like crap, but what does matter to him is that everyone adheres to what he wants.

Without question.

Scowling, he takes another gulp out of his glass and clenches his fist. When Kai does come back, he will make him pay, that much he knows -

There's a knock at the door. Well, actually, thumps. Quite a lot of them. He frowns; it has been a long time since anyone dared to call at this house. Growling in frustration, he leaves the room to answer the door.

Three police officers are standing there. One of them, obviously the most senior, stands up straighter and begins to speak.

"Good evening sir. Are you Mr. Voltaire Hiwatari?"

He glares at them with every self-righteous air that he posses. "I am. What business do you have here, officers?"

"We're extremely sorry to disturb you at such an ungodly hour, but I'm afraid that this is a very serious matter that can't wait."

"What do you want, officer?"

The man draws back slightly but doesn't back down from his job. "I'm afraid that we need to take you in for questioning, sir. We have received allegations from a reliable source that you are guilty of abusing a young person in your care and as such, we need to investigate." He looks almost apologetic.

"You're arresting me, is that right?" He briefly considers killing the three officers then and there, but decides against it. It would just be more evidence that would just increase his chances of going to prison, and he doesn't want that.

"I'm sorry sir. If you would just walk this way…"

He follows with a dignified bearing, but inside, he is raging at his grandson. He doesn't want to go to prison. No. What he wants is to rip his grandson limb from limb for betraying him.

"I need to read you your rights; You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You are entitled to a lawyer. If you do not have one or cannot afford one, the stare…" the officer recites as they enter the vehicle.

He's hardly listening, too consumed with rage at his grandson to even think about trying.

Yes, he has a lawyer, and a damn good one too that will get him easily out of this ridiculous case.

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And when I'm out, Kai will suffer. I will make sure that he pays dearly.

Kai's POV (This is about two days after what just happened, in case you're interested)

I sit in the hospital bed, but I'm more of a combination of bored and nervous now rather than ill. Apart from a few occasional twinges in my stomach and head, I feel physically alright; after all, I've been worse. The rest of me is another story.

It's strange; I always imagined that my friends, if I told them, would push me away, ignore me… I don't know… but I couldn't have been further from the truth. They showed me an understanding that would have never expected from them before any of this happened. It makes me feel kind of ashamed for doubting them.

And strangely, hopeful. Something I thought I'd never feel again. Just knowing that they truly value me as a friend, a person is more than enough. More than enough reason to maybe, just maybe, carry on living. At least for a little longer. It's like I can finally see the light that means I'm coming to the end of a long, dark tunnel.

But then I think about how they're determined to go against my grandfather, and I start worrying. They have no idea of what he's like, that he could easily find some way to crush every one of them. And that worries me, so I'm back to square one.

I watch, bored, as the nurse leaves the room at the call of someone. As she leaves she glances almost guiltily over her shoulder at me. I frown. I'm not stupid. I know that something's going on that I don't know about, and I want to know. Not knowing things really annoys me.

I hear agitated, half-whispered voices outside the room.

"That's not fair! I always get the short straw! I want to draw it again!"

"Fair and square, Tyson. We've had three draws already, so it's your call." My frown deepens. Something is definitely up. The door bursts open and the rest of the team come spilling in.

I watch them as they stand awkwardly, none of them meeting my eyes. They must have something to tell me that isn't so good. Well, no point in beating about the bush…

"What do you want?"

Tyson shifts uncomfortably. "Errm… I don't know if you've heard… but, your grandfather… um, he's been arrested." My heart suddenly shoots up. Arrested? The police actually managed to get that far? But Tyson's still speaking.

"The thing is, I think they want you to give evidence or something… I dunno, we don't know all the details, we overheard these two people talking about it in the corridor, how are we supposed to know?" I leave Tyson to his babbling.

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Give evidence? Me?

But it's my best chance of ending all this for good.

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I can't do that…

Fear's just a mental thing. Overcome it. No more playing by his rules. I'm not going to be a pawn anymore.

I've made up my mind. I'm sick of living like this, so this is it. My chance to end it, but still carry on living. Maybe there's finally some hope.

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And if he wins…

I push that thought to the back of my mind. I'll face that one if it comes.

"I'll do it."

The look on Tyson's face is almost worth all those moments of indecision.

"Say what?"

"I'll do it," I say again. "I'm sick of playing by his rules. So I'll do it."

Stunned silence. Max finally breaks it.

"Good for you! We're behind you all the way!" he says, grinning slightly and earning nods from the others.

"And… well…" I try to find the right words to say what needs to be said. "Thank you for listening to me."

"Hey, we're your friends right?"

I'm ready. I might be afraid, but I'm going to do what needs to be done.

If my friends are prepared to, why not me?

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ghost: **Ugh. That was not one of my better works. BTW, in case you're all wondering, there's a court scene coming up soon! (Dances) Yay, court scenes! I love writing them! Well, I'll cyas later!**


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